what tessa did when will died
by aregrettablechoiceofwords
Summary: basically what tessa did when will died. Set in paris/london 1937. Lossley based on the epilouge of clockwork princess


Will was dead. And Tessa would live forever. Tessa couldn't bear even the thought of staying around and watching her children and grandchildren slowly grow old and die when she stayed looking as if she was only 20. Besides there was only two people she wanted to be with right now, Will and Jem, but she couldn't have them because Will was dead and Jem was in silent city.

Tessa's yearly meeting with Jem on Blackfriars bridge was in 2 days. Will had asked her to find the dagger he put in the ground all those years ago when he thought Jem dead, and for Tessa to give it to Jem. Tessa knew Jem could not take the dagger with him but she still must find it and show it to Jem, it was what Will wanted.

If she couldn't be with the two people she wanted most in the world, she must settle for the third, the only person who would truly understand, and the only person that would always be there. So she sent a telegram, she knew he was in Paris, telling him to expect her at Calais in three days.

Off she went, she packed her bags - and as she had already explained to her family that if she was mortal she would die around now anyway – and said her goodbyes. She travelled the road that led from London to Cardiff in her Morris minor and went in search of the dagger. After going around the same three villages twice she finally found the right tree, Will's drawings helped. It took some work but she finally got the dagger out of the ground, still stained with Will's blood. She wrapped it up in her handkerchief and set off back to London.

As her family had moved out and got houses of their own, and James ran the Institute as he had for 10 years, she decided she would keep her house in London as she loved London and may want to come back. Although the house brought back memories of Will it was not unbearable as they hadn't lived there for long, only in Will's retirement from the Clave. She finally arrived back home and went to bed. It was disorientating, waking up and finding the other side of the bed empty, but that was how it was going to be from now on. Every time she woke up she would sob, because will was not there but she told herself she would not cry anymore once the sun came up because what was the point in crying if there was no-one to comfort you.

In the morning she went straight to Blackfriars Bridge. Her favourite place in London. She stood looking out over the city until she saw a silent brother moving unseen, Jem. He reached he and she took the dagger out of her pocket and showed it to him. His voice echoed inside her mind _thank you Tessa, I appreciate this a great deal and I'm sure will would too._ Jem knew will was dead, he had been there at his deathbed and sat with him holding his hand.

'I know you cannot take it with you to silent city, but I had to show it to you' tessa explained.

_Keep it. Keep it until I can take it. One day I may find a cure and leave the brotherhood._ Jem said.

Tessa could only agree. They spent the rest of their hour reminiscing of that short year when Tessa had come to London. It brought tears to her eyes but she told herself she would not cry. Finally when it was time for Jem to go back to Silent City, they said goodbye and Tessa set out for Dover. She had received a telegram that morning simply saying 'I will be there' which meant a great deal to her.

As she got on the ferry it was hard, looking back at the cliffs of Dover, England that had been her home for so long. Anyway, it was a good thing she was leaving England, the memories would not be as painful. The ferry arrived in Calais and Tessa got off with her few belongings, a small case containing a few clothes, a few pictures of her family, Jem's violin and Will's dagger. She climbed down the steps and saw the familiar face that she hadn't seen in so long, saw the only person she could be with right now. She ran straight into his arms nearly knocking him over and began crying. She could not hold back her tears any longer. She looked up and saw a pair of cat's eyes curiously studying her. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed, she was not worried about propriety as she had when she was a girl. Immortals did not worry about that kind of thing.

As she cried Magnus took her bags from her and comforted her. 'Tessa, you have not changed a bit my darling' he said. She managed to stutter back 'neither have you' between her sobs and at that Magnus laughed. Once Tessa's sobbing had mainly subsided Magnus went on to explain how she would love Paris and how he had ended up there and at that Tessa could only laugh because of his honest tone when recounting the last time he had been in Paris. Somewhere between stopping crying and laughing at Magnus' eccentricities, her and Magnus had ended up in a car and were on their way to Paris. There was plenty to talk about as they hadn't seen each other since her and will's 30th anniversary wedding party. Will had insisted on a party, and Tessa had insisted on inviting Magnus though now she realised that that hadn't been the best idea. Remembering this Tessa said 'remember last time we saw each other, at mine and will's wedding anniversary?'

'Yes' magnus said unsurely, knowing what tessa was going to say.

'And you decided to change the colour of all the drinks until Will started deliberating whether or not to throw you out. Then our grandchildren, who were only 5 at the time, started asking you who you were and why you could do that and you began changing the colour of the paint on the walls and made furniture disappear and new furniture appear.' Tessa continued in a fit of giggles.

Magnus raised an eyebrow and said, 'thats when will got really mad, when his furniture started disappearing.'

'you had gathered an audience by that point' Tessa said. 'I was not mad though.' She said honestly.

'yes you were.'

'okay, maybe a little bit, but that table was all the way from India!'

'Then will threw me out and told me to never bother coming back, even to London' Magnus said with mock sadness in his tone.

'You know he didn't mean it' Tessa said reproachfully.

'Yes, but you never invited me back, I was beginning to think I would never see you again'

'Don't be stupid, we have forever and you are the only person in this world that I know well enough to actually speak to for the moment.'

'I am flattered'

'you know, at Christmas in 1878, when you left London, Will never told me you had left until I said, that night, once everyone started to leave, 'we must find Magnus and say goodbye', all Will said was 'he left' and I thought he meant the party.' Tessa said mournfully. 'he then said you had left London for you were not a Londoner, I have never forgave you for not saying goodbye to me Mr Bane' Tessa spoke as she would have back then.

'well I did see you again didn't i?'

'yes. I was glad you came to our wedding'

'I did think the wedding was a bit early though. At the time I thought you may have picked up some unwanted Herondales in Cardair Idris'

Magnus was still the only person who knew what transpired there between her and will, but for saying that he had earned himself a slap. 'He proposed to me that very night you know. Just after you left. We simply did not want to waste time.'

'whatever you say' Magnus said under his breath, hoping Tessa wouldn't hear, with a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

'Magnus!'

And with that they arrived in Paris. Conversation forgotten, Tessa was overcame by the view. Paris always shocked her, she had come here before, almost 40 years ago now, It had changed. The Eiffel tower loomed up in the distance, towering over all the other buildings, it hadn't been there last time Tessa was in Paris, it had been built just after. It was beautiful. 'Paris' Tessa said, full of wonder. 'it's amazing!'

'and so am i!' Magnus said cheerfully. Trust his ego to get the better of him. 'Welcome to the fabulous Paris!' he said with energy. The streets of Paris bustled around them as Magnus parked the car up and got out, walking round to Tessa's side to help her out. She got up slowly, admiring the view and they walked for a few moments until they came to a door. A small white building rose up in front of them, and behind them the Seine flowed peacefully. Her and Magnus went in, Magnus carrying her cases. Once the door had shut behind them, Magnus took his hand away from the case but it stayed where it was.

'Show off' Tessa muttered and at that Magnus grinned. He showed her to the bedroom where she would be staying (it was a three bedroomed house) and the case floated peacefully behind them before, with a twist of Magnus' fingers, flinging down on the double four poster bed and opening suddenly. Magic never failed to shock Tessa and she gasped. She never really came into contact with other downworlders as she never fought with the Enclave so simple things like that did shock her.

Magnus laughed at her gasp and said 'never seen magic before? quite unusual for a warlock' emphasizing warlock.

'it's just I haven't seen magic in so long, and in case you hadn't noticed, I am not a normal warlock.' These comments about her being a warlock, upset her. She remembered that night on the roof of the institute when will had told her she was a warlock and warlocks couldn't have children. Even though he was rude to her back then the thought of will made her chest tighten and her heart hurt unbearably. The tears came, slowly this time and she eased herself onto the bed. Magnus didn't seem surprised at this strange outburst, but then nothing surprised him. It must be something that comes with immortality and being around a long time Tessa thought. She thought of living forever without will and that just brought another torrent of tears.

Magnus simply sat down next to her and said 'it will be okay'.

But it wasn't okay. 'this – this pain. It's unbearable. How do I live forever with pain and heartbreak like this?' she asked him.

'you take what is unbearable and you bear it' he said mournfully. 'I told will that once you know. A long time ago to a Mortal. It was when he was about to ride off into the sunset to save you, leaving jem on his deathbed, of course jem didn't mind.'

The tears kept coming and magnus was patient and eventually the tears stopped. 'I think we aught to get some dinner sorted' Tessa said.

'what do you fancy?'

'something french' Tessa giggled.

At that Magnus snapped his fingers and said 'already done. From the finest restaurant in all of Paris!'

'I cannot see it'

'It's in the dining room tessa, I thought you of all people would know that' Magnus replied.

Magnus had whisked the best French delicacy from a restaurant in the centre of paris, along with the table to go with it. The food was delicious and when they were done he sent the table back to where it came from but tessa stayed sitting on the chair and when it disappeared she got dumped on the floor which magnus, who knew full well what he was doing, found this funny. Tessa did not. 'I will get you next time' she said in a huff and stormed off to bed.

_Tessa walked, and saw will ahead of her, he looked behind and started running. By the looks of it, he was not running of his own will. He jumped a river and ran into the forest. When tessa got to the river she ran into a wall, It could take forever to find a way into the forest._

'Will . . . Will' Tessa woke up crying, calling for will, but he was not there, he would never be there again. Magnus came running through and held her while she cried.

'The first ones always the hardest' he murmered

'the first what?'

'the first one you love who dies' he said gravely. He had lost many tessa thought. How long ago did he lose his first love? She thought. She fially fell back asleep with magnus there holding her hand.


End file.
